Looking for tips on keeping your readers engaged? You’ve found the perfect guide, friend. If your prose isn’t vivified after applying these techniques, I’ll eat my hat.*
1. Build mystery, not confusion.
Use this first tactic with any sentence or phrase whose job it is to reel in the reader. Headlines, banner ads, email subject lines, and blurbs of all sorts can benefit from a bit of intrigue.
A great example of mystery building:
Why can’t managing your healthcare be as easy as online shopping? It can be. Here’s how.1
Questions alone are a great way to engage a reader. The writer could have asked, “Why can’t managing your healthcare be easier?” to get the reader thinking. But here they took it a step further by creating a question within a question, leading the reader to ask, “What the heck does managing my healthcare have to do with online shopping?”
And just like that, the writer links an intimidating activity to an enjoyable one and piques our interest.
Here’s another admirable example:
A new analysis of 30-year-old data suggests something strange is happening within Earth’s evil twin—and it could mean the planet is alive.2
This writer transformed data analysis findings into a click-worthy narrative about extraterrestrial life.
Note that normally the word “something” should be avoided, but in this example it serves a specific purpose as the mystery-building star of the show. We want to know what that “something” is!
Now, an example of confusion building:
Expect digital to further blur industry lines, supercharge scalability, and loosen geographical restraints for professional services.3
Such fantastic verbs! . . . stripped of their power by the meaningless nouns that follow. I have no idea what this sentence is saying, nor am I interested, because it overgeneralizes to the point of confusion. Improve sentences like these with detail (how will industry lines be blurred?) and bait (will it incite a surprising reaction?).
Takeaway: Pulling the reader in with intrigue pays off; shrouding your insights in ambiguity does not.
2. Stop stringing together meaningless buzz words. You’re wasting everyone’s time.
Below are two paragraphs that say a whole lot of nothing. One was written by Deloitte, and the other I created by stringing together nonsense. Can you tell which is which?4
Paragraph 1: Learn to transform digitization by identifying key architectures and capabilities that fully leverage available data. Discover why implementing functional planning initiatives optimizes market efficiencies and synchronizes key operational processes. Explore how harnessing strategic power through disruptive innovation can foster meaningful engagement—and how scaled technology solutions can drive higher conversion rates.
Paragraph 2: Discover key insights and actionable advice for business and technology leaders. See how tech is enabling fundamental business processes—from the way business strategy is engineered to the modernization of core assets—and evolving supply chains into value enablers. Explore new data optimization techniques to turbocharge machine learning and how zero trust revolutionizes cybersecurity architecture to protect that data.
Content like this leaves me dazed and confused—and annoyed that the writer wasted my time.
Takeaway: The more -ize and -ion words (and their hideous offspring -ization and -tionize words), the more mundane and meaningless the writing. Seek and destroy these joy suckers.
3. Get specific. Replace vague statements with luring details.
Your readers are seeking specific solutions—they want to understand a topic, learn a new skill, or pick up an interesting conversation nugget that makes them look smart. Generic content descriptions won’t convince them they’re in the right place to accomplish any of that.
Let’s break down the previous example from Deloitte, sentence by sentence, and see if we can fix it with specificity:
Before: Discover key insights and actionable advice for business and technology leaders.
This sentence targets everyone and no one . . . but as the main idea of the paragraph, we’ll allow it. Let’s just cut the wordiness a bit:
After: Leaders, discover actionable business and technology insights.
Before: See how tech is enabling fundamental business processes—from the way business strategy is engineered to the modernization of core assets—and evolving supply chains into value enablers.
Are your eyes glazed over too? That’s because the generic business-speak fails to paint a picture in your mind. Replace each all-encompassing phrase with a specific example or benefit—give the reader words their mind can grab onto and turn into images:
Enable processes –> This phrase is DOA. There’s no reviving it. Just delete it.
Engineer strategy –> Translation: Get your IT crew on board with the CEO’s strategy; get the CEO familiar with new tech.
Modernize assets –> Translation: Adopt low-code/no-code platforms and save big by migrating to the cloud.
Evolve into enablers –> Translation: Adapt the supply chain to customer preferences.
After: Get your SOC on board with the CEO’s vision—and the CEO on board with the SOC’s new tech; see how low-code/no-code and cloud migration salvages revenue; and weigh the risks and rewards of letting the customer build your supply chain.
Before: Explore new data optimization techniques to turbocharge machine learning and how zero trust revolutionizes cybersecurity architecture to protect that data.
Machine learning and zero trust are powerful innovations. But you’d never know it the way they’re buried in vagueness. On top of that, the sentence suffers from an awkward parallel structure. How about we optimize, turbocharge, and revolutionize this sentence:
After: Explore how machine learning turns robots into teammates and how zero trust refocuses the skills of your SOC to better protect your precious data.
Takeaway: Get specific and get to the point. If doing this dwindles your content, you should question the value of your content.
4. Give “is” a rest. Enlist action verbs to animate your writing.
Consider the meaning of “to be”: Mere existence. Basic description. Dick-and-Jane-level stuff.
My challenge to you: In the next piece you write, cut back on all forms of “to be.” I know, it’s a handy go-anywhere verb, but using it more often than necessary generates too many lifeless statements.
We can liven up these to-be-based sentences with just a sprinkle of action verbs:
Before: The idea for this slide is to convince investors that your solution is sufficiently differentiated from the existing solutions.5
After: This slide convinces investors that your innovative solution deserves attention.
Before: There are a lot of websites that list used cars, and each site seems to have its own character. Here are four good ones to check out:6
After: Used car websites abound, and each has its own character. We recommend checking out these four:
Takeaway: Scan your writing for forms of “to be” (and the ho-hum prepositional phrases that often follow). How often can you replace “is” with an action verb?
Bonus: Taking a few extra minutes to plug in action verbs also streamlines your writing, appeasing short attention spans.
5. Inject your writing with emotion.
When we ingest content, either there’s a spark or there isn’t. That spark can lead to a giggle, a share on social, or maybe even a life-changing realization.
No, not everything you write will invoke a come-to-Jesus moment—but it should always spark something, if only the curiosity to keep reading.
Check out these two Google search result descriptions—which one generates a bigger spark for you?
At Orangetheory Fitness, we have 3 different gym membership packages; Orange Basic, Orange Elite and Orange Premier. See which is right for you!
Blah. This factual statement from Orangetheory is sparkless, and the exclamation point after their call to action is not making up for it.
Crunch is a No Judgment Gym that believes in making serious exercise fun by fusing fitness and entertainment. Join Crunch for all your fitness needs!
I loathe exercising and don’t belong to a gym, yet Crunch got me excited with their promise of blending fitness with fun and entertainment. Of all the search results for “gym membership,” I would click on this one.
Takeaway: It doesn’t matter if you write about doing taxes or pumping iron—your readers are emotional beings, so all of your content should be crafted to invoke a reaction.
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Footnotes:
* Not an actual promise . . . unless the hat is made of chocolate.
1. Salesforce
3. McKinsey
4. Deloitte
5. Forbes
6. NerdWallet
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Takeaway: I hope this blog content helps improve your writing. If you’d rather outsource those improvements, just send your piece to Whitney@GrayHawkEditing.com and I’ll get to work perfecting it!
Gray Hawk Editing 